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Heavy breathing in Cheneyville

In this strange political environment we’re in the sound of labored breathing beneath a black angular helmet was heard today as Dick Cheney and his rather scary spawn Liz took to the Internet and the WSJ to denounce President Obama and launch some weird new organization designed to do something to try to rescue Dick from the ravages of history and Liz from past blunders. The initial presentation was marked by a significant blunder when the Cheneys misspelled their own name and Dick looked weird wearing a cowboy hat and reading off a teleprompter. This guy spent his life in politics and corporate America and he shows up with somebody else’s heart beating in his chest in a freakin’ cowboy hat standing in front of a photo-shopped backdrop! “Weird” doesn’t get close.

The best line of the day came from Jay Carney on his way out as Presidential press secretary. When asked about Cheney’s statement that “Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many,” Carney mused, “which president was he talking about?”

But all these pathetic efforts on the part of the most thoroughly discredited Veep in memory (at least Dubya has the good grace to stick to painting and not continuously insert himself into domains about which he knows nothing) gave rise to a memory.

About four or so years ago I was at playing poker in Vegas. It was the WSOP and I was making my annual pilgrimage. I try to play the “Geezer” event — aka, the “Seniors” — and usually end up in one or two other events and play ridiculous numbers of hours in cash games. I had gotten knocked out of the day’s tournament and found myself in a $2-5 NLH game sitting beside a rather well-dressed woman. Well-dressed women are a rarity in poker, even more so at the WSOP — as for men…. well, don’t ask. So I was intrigued. We got to chatting and we did the standard, “like, where are you from?”

“Oh, I lived in New York City for some 35 years but now I’m in the Pacific Northwest. And you?”

“I’m from Wyoming,” she said…. and I perked up.

“Really?” I said.

“Oh, yes. Really,” she responded.

“Dick Cheney’s state,” I said.

“Oh, yes. Cheney’s state. I know him,” she said.


“Yup. We live in the same neighborhood. I’ve known him for years,” she responded.

“So,” I asked fearing the worst — after all, we’re talking about a well-dressed woman from whom money and position just drip who lives in the same upscale community as the Cheneys — “what’s he like?”

“Evil. Pure fucking evil,” she said and her face twisted up — “and I’m a Republican.”

So it goes…..

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