Murder, Mayhem and Misinterpretation

Two events occurred that drew the attentions of sports bettors, poker aficionados, small-time hoods, organized crime, the casino industry and, of course, the legal establishment. In one, a sports-betting ring operating “in” the poker room at Atlantic City’s Borgata casino was broken up. The word “in” is in quotes to make it clear that, while the action took place in the casino, its personnel and management have not (so far as is publicly known) been implicated. The second occurred in one of the larger underground poker rooms in New York City where armed robbers held up the club. In the chaotic scene that ensured a gun went off (apparently accidentally, as if that mattered) and killed one of the players, a middle-aged school teacher from New Jersey who was a regular in the room.

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I’m Just Playing My Rush

We’ve all seen this one: Some guy wins a couple of hands in a row. He starts telling jokes, high-fiving friends, and gleefully stacking chips while announcing to all just how good he really is. To some extent, we all do this. It is almost irresistible. We’ve all been on a “rush;” it’s a real high. We feel invulnerable. We believe that it was our skill that led to this tsunami of chips now in front of us. A little later reality may force a return to a more sober assessment of our game, but for now we feel pretty damn good about ourselves. Winning a whole lot of chips is great fun and if we can’t enjoy these moments, what’s the point?

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Self-Reflection

So, I was in my favorite game of $5 - $10 no limit hold ‘em playing with all the verve and grace of a guy who has been on a bit of roll. I got smacked around pretty quickly when a bluff got snapped off and a flopped set got run down but, no matter, I’m the best here, right? Right!

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Self Deception, Self-awareness

Try this next time you stroll into work, a bar, the family Thanksgiving fest, or your favorite poker room. Approach your buddies, co-workers, colleagues, spouses or significant others and ask them, in a candid sort of way, whether they think that they “know who they are” as people. I can guarantee you that they will all, to a man to a woman, say, “yes, of course” and then will proceed to tell you all about themselves.

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The Comfort Zone

Some years ago my wife and I found ourselves at a party with a number of couples, most of them somewhat less eroded by time than we were. It was a lot of fun. We sat there feeling very alive and drawn back into the earlier days when life had a different, somewhat sharper edge to it. After downing more than a few we found ourselves in conversation with a young couple who, as we soon discovered, had been married for about four years. A few more drinks later, and after I (stupidly) revealed that we were both psychologists, they wanted to know the answer to a question that was tearing them apart: “What did we do to stay together after that ‘zing’ was gone?

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